House for Sale!

We've decided over the past couple of months to sell our house. This is a big decision for any family, and one that comes with extra worries when you have kids with special needs. We debated for a long time, but finally decided that it was a good time to move. We're staying within our current school district, the kids will still go to the same school and have the same friends. We can continue to get therapy at The Therapy Tree, Ella can still go to her dance class and gymnastics and preschool...so hopefully we'll find a little more living space within the same community. 

Alex and I explained to the kids after Spring Break that we were going to pack up our house and sell it, and then find a bigger house to move into in our town. I was worried about the boys' reactions, but they handled the news well. I could tell Ben was pondering things, but I let him percolate a little and didn't give him more information than he needed. I knew he'd ask questions as they came up. And he has. I was really concerned about one thing in particular- painting Ben's room. A couple years ago I painted a mural all over his walls of a jungle scene, and then we got tiger posters to hang- Ben's favorite animal. He had stars and clouds painted on his ceiling too. In the past when we've asked if he wanted to repaint his room, he has adamantly said NO. I knew we needed to repaint his room in order to get the house as sellable as possible. Ben and I talked about it, and he said he understood, and I could do whatever I needed to to his walls and ceiling! What?!? Is this really MY Ben? When I needed to pack up his room and declutter it, he said that was fine and I could pack anything I needed to. The kids are really being so flexible! I think it does help that they know we are not moving far, and their friends will still be around. Our home will change but our community environment will stay the same.

Aidan said once that he didn't want to leave his friends on our block. I told him we can drive him over when he wants to see them. He said "I don't like driving. I like walking." Well. There you go. Other than that there haven't been any complaints about the packed up house. The boys keep asking which house we're buying. I keep explaining the process. Over and over and over.

I have been feeling a little manic and a lot stressed, these past three weeks since we decided for sure to sell the house. It was brought to my attention by a very wise soul that I apparently work well under pressure. Everywhere I go, people say I look so calm and collected and like I'm not stressed at all. Inside I feel like I'm going CRAZY!! So when people say that I'm super surprised. Because I feel like everyone can tell I'm going CRAZY! 

I gave myself a deadline of two weeks to pack the house and make it sellable. It will end up being three, but I think that's pretty good. If you had seen our house three weeks ago, the house now is barely recognizable as ours. We hadn't gone through things for ten years. I have thrown away and donated so much stuff, I can't even believe it. It feels so good and spacious and clean to be in our home now. But a little empty and without personality. I have been brutal about packing- everything goes in a box and into the garage. We're going to do this right, one time, and hopefully the house will sell soon and we can unpack in a new home and make it ours.

Once I'm done freaking out about getting the house perfect to sell, I know some nostalgia will creep in about leaving our home. We have so many great memories here. But my hope for our family is that we will have a little more room to stretch out in a new home. The other night, Jonah was having a meltdown. He did a great job of recognizing that he needed time alone, so he said angrily that he was going to his room. Unfortunately, he shares a room with Aidan, and unfortunately, Aidan was already in bed and asleep. So I couldn't let an angry Jonah go in there and wake up his brother. I told him I was sorry, as his body went limp from despair and anger and depression. He said fine, he'd go to Ben's room. Luckily Ben was ok with that, since he was doing something else in a different room. I just felt bad that my boy who is finally, sometimes, understanding what he needs in order to self-regulate wasn't able to give himself what he really needed: time in his own sanctuary of peace. So that struck home for me even more the need for our family to have more space, hopefully for each child to have their own room. 

I feel spoiled saying I want each of my kids to have their own rooms. I know we are so blessed to be able to have the home we have, let alone look for a bigger one. But then I also know that our kids can really benefit from having their own spaces to decompress in. When the boys are agitated, being around people just doesn't work. So when I start feeling spoiled, I just remind myself that this move is for the benefit of our family, who would really get so much out of having just a little more space to live in. A little more room for peace.

A new chapter is coming in our life. As of Monday, we'll be looking for a new home! I love adventures, even when they're a little scary because you don't know what's coming.