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Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Friday the 13th

I am not superstitious. Black cats, broken mirrors, no big deal. But boy did we have a crazy Friday the 13th last week. 

One of my children, who shall remain nameless to preserve is pride, woke me up a little before 5am. He said he had gotten up to go to the bathroom but had gone in his closet to get clothes first. Somehow he had started peeing everywhere. In his room. On the carpet. Not in the bathroom. In the toilet. Where pee normally goes. We do still have some peeing in bed issues with certain people in our home due to the meds they are on to help them sleep. But this type of peeing all over your closet, room, hallway, and bathroom floor like you're wielding a garden hose that's gotten loose is a first. So my sweetheart went to take a shower. (Incredible. Wish this child would pee everywhere more often so he would voluntarily bath more regularly.) I went to get the clean clothes that this child had attempted to get before his urine got away from him.

I realized there was a LOT of pee to clean up. I went downstairs to fetch the dog pee remover. 

Of course the bottle was empty. I should have known then to just go back to bed and wake up on the 14th.

I went back upstairs to check on the showering boy. I came into the bathroom and saw blood spots all over the floor. I looked at my child who was standing naked by the sink, trying to figure out where the blood was coming from. (Please remember it's 5 am, I got to bed late, I was woken twice by other children during the night, and I had had no coffee yet by this point.) It took me a minute to understand my child was telling me he had a bloody nose. This particular child never gets bloody noses. Weird. I taught him how to pinch his nose. I woke up Daddy to man the shower front while I figured out how to de-pee the floor.

By 5:30am I was totally exhausted. But we got it under control.

When it was time to take Ella to preschool, the dog had been being so well-behaved I decided to leave him out of his kennel while I was gone for the 30 min it takes to transport Ella to school. Terrible decision. When I got home, I found our Elf on the Shelf- Bubbles- on the floor in the living room with his face chewed off. Major panic. Ollie had eaten poor Bubbles to bits. Ella and Aidan would be devastated. How was I going to fix THIS?? I've had to do a lot of triage in my mothering years, but nothing to the extent that Bubbles needed. There was just no saving him.

Alex went on the hunt for a new elf. I had Santa write a note explaining to the kids that Bubbles had to come and stay at the North Pole for a Special Secret Elf Project. When Ella found the note in the place Bubbles had been, she was very concerned, until a smile spread across her little face as I read her the note from Santa. All day, she had anyone who was available read the note to her. All her brothers had a chance to read it to her. Daddy read it to her. I read it to her five times. She loved it. 

That night we introduced our new elf to the family. We had a Family Meeting about what his name should be. We had a major war over it, but finally decided on "Cuddles." Let me just say, Daddy suggested "Patrick" and "Bismarck." (What kind of elf names are those?) Needless to say, the rest of the family did not vote for those two names. Sorry, Dad. I think your elf-naming skills have gotten a little rusty.

A couple hours after Ollie had decapitated Bubbles, I found him with a mouth full of candy cane. Wrapper and all. This dog has a crazy sense of Christmas Spirit. I've never had to get candy cane out of shih-tzu beard before, and let me tell ya, it's not easy. 

That afternoon, Aidan had a couple hours of therapy. I took Ella with me and we waited for Aidan to finish. Ben and Jonah stayed home, then Alex picked them up for family therapy and we met at The Therapy Tree. That night was my night to host a monthly support group meeting upstairs at The Therapy Tree with the non-profit I work with- CORE (Community Outreach and Education). It ended up to be the craziest evening ever. The kids were going bonkers after all the therapy they'd had, Alex was stressed out, everyone kept texting me about their woes, all while I'm trying to be run a meeting to help fellow parents who have kids with special needs. 

It was a day full of Crazy. I'm not superstitious, but there are some days that I could do without.

Pee and blood to start my morning. A decapitated, defaced elf. Candy cane to be dug out of a shih-tzu's beard. Kids going bananas after oodles of therapy. Trying to ignore it all, move on, and run a meeting, knowing my family is going completely bonkers.

I knew I should have gone back to bed that morning and gotten up the 14th. 

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