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Tuesday, January 28, 2014

My Red M&M

Aidan is like a red M&M. (Red because that's my favorite color, and Aidan's.) A red M&M has a bright, beautiful, hard shell on the outside of it. The shell protects the sweet, melty, perfect inside of chocolate. Aidan is like this. Aidan is beautiful, inside and out. He has a shell, like an M&M. Many times when you're talking to Aidan, it seems like what you're saying is just bouncing right off that shell, and not getting inside where you need it to take root. Sometimes that shell is very frustrating. It seems like my little M&M is not listening. Not paying attention. Not following directions. Not learning the skills he needs to navigate the world. Sometimes that beautiful shell seems to protect my little M&M too much. Sometimes I want more chocolate and less shell. I want to crack that shell right open and have free access to more of Aidan.

But then there are times when I experience the glorious, intuitive, sensitive, wonderous "chocolate" part of Aidan. Sometimes you think what you're trying to communicate to him has just bounced off his shell, when actually you've made it into the perfection that is Aidan's soul. He has heard you. He has understood. He gets what you're telling him. He processes it and it makes sense to him. And he shows you how funny, smart, creative, and loving he is.

The other day, Ella, Aidan and I were driving around town, running errands. Ella and Aidan were chatting in the backseat. Aidan said something very nice to Ella. Then he turned and looked out his window, and stated almost under his breath, but with pride, "Well. I think I really just filled up Ella's bucket!" I said "What, Aidan?" He said that in his handwriting group last week, which is run by an OT and counselor, the counselor had talked to the group about how if you say something or do something nice for someone that fills up their "bucket" and they feel happy. If you say something mean, it makes them sad and makes their "bucket" empty. 


So not only had Aidan been paying attention when the counselor was talking about buckets, he had taken in the information. He had processed it and understood it. And THEN my little M&M had used this information and made it his own, and in the process had made his little sister's bucket overflow.


Sometimes that gooey "chocolate" center that is my Aidan's soul is just so perfect, it blinds me to see it. Aidan blinds me with his goodness, his sweetness. If I am ever half as good, as intuitive, as perceptive as Aidan, I will feel like my bucket is very very full.

My Aidan is like a red M&M. Perfect in every way. The perfect ratio of hard, protective shell to melty, glorious center. You just can't get enough, once you've experienced my little M&M. He makes the world a more joyful place by being in it. 

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